Which of these statements is most true for you:
- “My husband/wife is my best friend. I can depend on h/him to see my side whether s/he agrees or not.”
- “Our experiences of closeness are filled with an excitement of sharing, pleasure and adventure.”
- “We use our differences to our best advantage.”
Learning to love and loving to learn about your marriage is a gift that you can give yourselves and each other. Marriage can be a joy, and it is also a skill.
Arlene Kahn draws from several sources, in helping couples with their relationship goals. Among them are:
- Sue Johnson highlights the importance of attachment issues between couples in her model called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. In her book “Hold Me Tight”, she brings awareness of healthy and problematic attachment styles between partners.
- Harville Hendrix’s book, “Getting The Love You Want“, a popular self-help book, shows the childhood wounds and strengths that often bring people together. The book also provides a dialogue format to help people listen and talk openly, with caring in a heart-felt way.
- Nathan Schwartz-Salant in his book “The Mystery of Human Relationship“, speaks to the interesting idea that every relationship creates a field of interactions and that we experience the pulls of the field itself in our struggles to relate. Understanding the kind of field we’re in, enlightens our relationship.
Often, our efforts to understand our intimate relationships result in blame, accusations, and other negative emotions. What we seldom realize, is that these states are all clues to our needs, our insights, and hidden strengths. These negative interactions can be transformed into understanding, empathy, relatedness and even joy. To experience your relationship in a new way, you are welcome to call me and learn more.