It’s no secret that play is vital for children. Their play helps them explore, to learn, to be socialized with other children, develop their imagination. It is also fun, fun to try new things, take risks, physically, mentally, socially.
To learn more about childrens’ play, visit the Michigan University website: https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/the_purpose_of_play_why_play_matters
I think what we often lose sight of, is that play is also vital for adults and especially in relationships with friends and/or lovers, husbands and wives. In many relationships, following a courtship phase, play often goes by the wayside and things get “serious.” Playfulness gets buried in an adult focus on work, saving money for kids’ college, paying bills, meeting each other’s expectations. Disillusionment can take over. Or play gets transformed into game competition. The emphasis becomes who’s winning or losing, a competitive, one-upsmanship mentality that can actually increase tension and constraint between couples..
The joy in relationships is often found through playful imagination, creating word-play together or wrestling with each other, having a pillow fight or otherwise not being too serious too often. The experience is just having fun as many children do and as many adults did, as children.
There are some adults though, who never really learned the joy of play as children and they can feel self-conscious or intimidated. Just letting go of “being right” or “being appropriate” is a challenge. As a result, they tend to keep a lid on spontaneity and frivolity. That’s so unfortunate when it’s often the playful spontaneity that releases the joy and love in a relationship. Seeing each other at our silliest and joining in, can contribute a great deal to a feeling of loving freedom with our partner.
Gregory Bateson, a famous anthropologist and psychologist in the 1950’s and 60’s, was married to Margaret Mead, herself a famous anthropologist. He put Play at the apex of importance in adult life when he said, “Play is the only really dignified activity adults ever engage in.” By that, I think he meant, that we are most authentically ourselves, free of pretensions and calculations, just alive and connected when we can let go, engage with each other and play.
The ancient alchemists called imagination, “the star in man.” It guides us, and in it, is the gold of our creativity and our ability to play. When we follow that star, willingly and freely, it can lift our spirits, bring new aliveness and self-esteem to the relationship and to each other.