Couples

When couples communicate well, they are building rapport that can last a lifetime. When confict occurs, being able to dialogue and reach a mutual understanding is key to a loving relationship.

don't give up. You are not alone, you matter signage on metal fence

Navigating Addiction: Understanding Unique Emotional Struggles

Addiction, a complex battle that transcends age and gender, takes a profound toll on individuals and those around them. Women, men, and teenagers grapple with distinct emotional struggles as they confront addiction’s challenges. Women often experience addiction in conjunction with feelings of guilt and shame, stemming from societal pressures and expectations. The emotional weight of these burdens can make seeking help daunting. For men, addiction may be accompanied by societal pressure to appear strong and in control, causing emotional isolation …

Read more

Lonely Woman Looking Away

Being Ghosted

We usually know when we do or say something wrong, something that hurts someone we love or care about.  If we can reflect and accept our wrongdoing, an apology often works to re-stabilize the relationship.  Sometimes though, we don’t know what we did that was offensive or hurtful.  We only glean it by the slow gradual withdrawal of the other person, or the outright accusation or feeling that we’re banned, outside the relationship now–in the doghouse. The pain of a …

Read more

photo of man and woman laughing during daytime

Making Time for Play In Relationships

It’s no secret that play is vital for children.  Their play helps them explore, to learn, to be socialized with other children, develop their imagination.  It is also fun, fun to try new things, take risks, physically, mentally, socially. To learn more about childrens’ play, visit the Michigan University website:   https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/the_purpose_of_play_why_play_matters  I think what we often lose sight of, is that play is also vital for adults and especially in relationships with friends and/or lovers, husbands and wives. In many …

Read more

Keeping Company With…..

Alcoholics Anonymous uses the acronym HALT to tell alcoholics/addicts never get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired, because those states make people vulnerable to substance use.  I think it’s a great acronym to help all of us steer clear of our “go to” soothers when they’re not healthy.  Today, I’d like to focus just on “Lonely.” The sense of isolation among addicts is well-known. However, our culture in general can be extremely isolating.  The congresswoman, Rep. Ocasio-Cortes recently called out to   …

Read more

Seeing Things As They Are

Too often, there is a human tendency to focus on the good and deny the bad.  Or, we can elaborate our successes and immerse ourselves in our failures.  Either way, we don’t see things as they are. The reality is that everyone has good days and bad days, strengths and flaws, successes and failures.  Our successes need some humility.  They are rarely our own without the help and support of others. As far as our failures, Samuel Beckett, the writer …

Read more

Cultivating a Garden of Acceptance

Many people believe that an attitude of self-criticism can spur us on to greater achievements; that it can raise the bar of our striving and encourage us to try harder, make fewer mistakes, be the successful people we want to be. Unfortunately, more often than not, self criticism tends to stifle our ability to perform the way we intend or reach the goals we hope for.  When we  succeed amidst negative feedback it’s often in spite of the criticism rather than …

Read more

Is Marriage a “Give and Take” Relationship?

When asking seasoned married people, “What’s the art of a successful marriage?,” many would say “Marriage has to be a “give and take.”  What that implies is that  one gives sometimes and at other times, he or she can take.  It brings to mind a process similar to going to the bank.   I put in 20.00 and at a later time, I can take out 20.00.   Unfortunately, it’s the kind of expectation that too often breeds disappointment, hurt, anger or resentment. First, what works better is something more like “Give …

Read more

Change: Loss, Grieving and Opportunity for the New

Often, change can be difficult. Unexpected change can be excruciantingly painful, resulting in pain of loss and grief. When able to “stay with it,” through meditation or focusing, the change can resolve into new opportunity for growth. Heraclitus said “No man can step in the same river twice,” meaning universal change is ever present. Buddhism suggests that our difficulty accepting change and separating from our attachments is the cause of our suffering. This post offers four specific strategies for coping with change and grieving.

Rajashree, Novelist "Trust Me"

Trust and Betrayal: Two Questions You Should Ask When You Want to Trust Someone

Two specific guidelines are offered to increase success in situations requiring trust in interpersonal relationships. How one can be seduced into trusting and participate in self-betrayal is also shown. In addition, the importance of listening to one’s own “inner voices” or signal that express caution in situations requiring trust is stressed.

How To Protect Your Child’s Weight Problem

Some doctors worry that young, overweight patients are still developing and lap-band surgery can have negative side effects later. In some cases, surgery is being performed on children as young as 12. But, the long term effectiveness of weight-loss surgery, especially stomach banding, is still in question. Dr. Wendy M. Scinta, a family practitioner in Manlius, a suburb of Syracuse, specializes in pediatric weight loss. She was quoted in the NYTimes article saying “I think it’s pretty extreme to change …

Read more