Why Men Leave Women Who Become Ill
Men who leave women who become ill may be suffering from childhood trauma around loss of feminine love objects, such as mother or sister. As a result they leave their wife instead of being supportive.
Couples
When couples communicate well, they are building rapport that can last a lifetime. When confict occurs, being able to dialogue and reach a mutual understanding is key to a loving relationship.
Marriage: Is There a Place for Infidelity?
What a question?! Is there room in your relationship to ask that question? Should there be? Yet, that’s the question being asked by Mark Oppenheimer in his New York Times magazine article, Married, With Infidelities ( Sun. July 3, 2011). He reviews the position of Dan Savage, who says that for many couples, monogamy is not right, that it’s not natural. Savage says we’re not honest about how hard marriage is, how hard monogamy is. Oppenheimer quotes Savage in stating that “the goal of marriage, is ‘stability’ and …
Make a Commitment: “Burn the Boats”
As part of a motivational speech Coach Rex Ryan told the New York Jets football team the story of Hernan Cortes, the Spanish conquistador who went to Mexico in 1519 and, despite being outnumbered, ordered his charges to burn the boats they had arrived on! (NYTimes Jan. 8, 2011). In other words, they couldn’t go back. They had to make the commitment, give it all they had, right then and there. In his talk, Ryan also stressed respect and how to …
How to Eat What You Want During the Holidays and STILL Lose Weight Safely
You can eat what you want, you just can’t eat ALL that you might want, but you can eat ALL that your body wants. The name of the game is Body Attunement. You and your body are attached and there needs to be an attunement to what you want and what your body says is “enough, for now.” That means enjoying what you eat while recognizing your body’s limits. If we give it a chance, our body is our “safe …
A Rewarding Marriage Awaits You…..
A rewarding marriage is possible, despite the statistics. According to the Washington Post Magazine of June 27, 2010, “More than 40 percent of first marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate for second marriages is above 60 percent, and it’s higher than 70 percent for folks making their third walk down the aisle.” Learning to love and loving to learn about your marriage is a gift that you can give yourselves and each other. Marriage can be joyful and enriching, but …
Saving Your Inner Child
Some people laugh off the idea of an “inner child,” a “young part of you” who has suffered, perhaps even been traumatized by parental fights, poor growing up conditions, alcoholism, sexual abuse or other traumas. Rescuing your inner child can give you new confidence, strength and perspective on life. This video demonstrates that before fleeing a bad situation, rather than cut off your painful feelings, remember to relate to the child within, “take him or her with you” gather a …
The Psychology of Perspective
“Keep your perspective,” “Keep it in perspective,” is usually good advice. What is perspective, actually? Oxford dictionary says it’s an attitude, a position, angle, outlook, even a lookout. It can be a point of view, a viewpoint, a standpoint. A perspective is something that guides us. We tend to act, based on how we see things, what we believe about someone. When our point of view clashes with conflicting information, it can be confusing and either our perspective changes or …
Does Intimacy Enhance Sexuality or Destroy it?
Esther Perel writes in her new book Mating in Captivity that there is a paradox of intimacy and sexuality in relationships. For many people, the paradox is that the more intimate, close and secure we feel, the less erotic desire is present in long-term committed relationships. It raises the question, “What is the meaning of love and sexuality in long term relationships?” Paradoxically, erotic desire often flourishes when there is separateness, a sense of danger, when it is forbidden. It …
Focusing: 5 Ways to Find a Felt-Sense
Focusing is a term given to our ability to turn our attention inward, to notice how we experience a life situation, a problem, a difficulty with a relationship or even a point of stuck creativity. We are gathering a “felt-sense” of a situation, a form of somatic experiencing. Felt-sensing is different than “getting in touch with feelings,” or “thoughts,” and it is not strictly meditation, yet it includes all of those ways of experiencing too. It is essentially a body/mind therapy. It addresses the whole …
Why Arguing Makes the Perfect Gift For Couples
Couples who risk arguing have the potential to join their partner in an interactive field that can identify and use feelings to grow and transform the relationship from hostility to passion and love.